Filk early, filk often

[Akker Redd]

Bea Attitude (to the tune of "Attitude" by the Misfits)

Bea Attitude, she's got some fucking attitude
Lord I can't believe what she'll slay for you
She's got some attitude

Inside her habit she wants to kill some more
She's axing kiddies to the floor

Bea Attitude, the one you got, oh baby
Bea Attitude, the one you got, oh baby

Bea Attitude, attitude

Axe wielding and killing for the Lord
If you dont look normal she'll axe you to the floor

Bea Attitude, she's got a homicidal attitude
(Bea Attitude) I cant believe what you slay for Christ
She's got some attitude

Bea Attitude, you got some fucking attitude
(attitude) forget that Hypocratic oath
She's got some attitude

[Akker Redd]

Helter Shelter (I think you know)

When I see the bombs I go blind and I scoot to the side
Where I stop and an asian chick takes us for a ride
Till my retinas recover and I see you again.

Do you, don't you want to survive this
We're coming down hill and gonna find the Sis
Tell me tell me tell me 'bout the mayor
A fallout shelter is our only answer.

Helter shelter, helter shelter
Helter shelter.

Do you, don't you want to survive this
I know its broken but I think I can fix this
Tell me tell me tell me 'bout the mayor
A fallout shelter is our only answer.

Helter shelter, helter shelter
Helter shelter.

Look out, cause here it comes.

When I see the bombs I go blind and I scoot to the side
Where I stop and an asian chick takes us for a ride
Till my retinas recover and I see you again.

Do you, don't you want to survive this
I know its broken but I think I can fix this
Find me find me find me a school bus
Kill those kids but only if you must.

Look out, helter shelter, helter shelter
Helter shelter
Look out helter shelter
We're going down fast
Yes we is
Yes we is.

[hoa nguyen]

LET'S SPEND SIX MONTHS TOGETHER (Sung to the tune of "Let's Spend the Night Together" by the Rolling Stones)

My, My, My, My
Don't you worry 'bout bombs falling outside (Oh my)
We’ve just found the safest place that we can hide (Oh my)
There’s neutron bombs and flesh eating ghouls (Flesh eating ghouls)
Society’s broken down and there’s no more rules
C'mon, let’s hide, hide, hide (Oh my)
Let's spend six months together
Stuck inside this fallout shelter
Let's spend six months together now

I don’t mean to be a claustrophobe (Oh no)
But we sure are crammed in close (Oh my)
Don’t sit too close and don’t steal my MREs (Steal my MREs)
And don’t you dare pass on some nasty disease
Oh my, my, my, my
Let's spend six months together
Stuck inside this fallout shelter
Let's spend six months together now

Let's spend six months together
Stuck inside this fallout shelter

You know that you’re stinking baby
And now morale is sinking baby
We all need showers baby
Now, we all need one more than ever
Let's spend six months together
Let's spend six months together now

I hope we can soon see the light of day (Oh my)
I’d just settle for some clouds of gray (Oh my)
The chemical toilet’s all backed up (all backed up)
There’s no more clean water for my cup
Oh my, my, my, my, my
Let's spend six months together
Stuck inside this fallout shelter
Let's spend six months together now

[Johnny The Cook]

When I see the bombs I go blind and I scoot to the side
Where I stop and an asian chick takes us for a ride
Till my retinas recover and I see you again.

Nice one! 

[hoa nguyen]

ATOMIC WONDERLAND (Sung to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")

Bombs have stopped, no more landing
Let's go up top and see what's still standing
A nuclear haze
Will kill us in days
Walking in an atomic wonderland

Gone away is civilization
Here to stay is radiation
Our hair will fall away
And for death we'll pray
Walking in an atomic wonderland

In the fallout we can scavenge bullets
To protect ourselves from the zombie horde
Hopefully we can find a geiger counter
And maybe a place where food is stored

Later on will come the looters
In search of TVs and computers
We'll shoot them all dead
As we horde grain for bread
Walking in an atomic wonderland

In mass graves we can bury bodies
Before the stench becomes too much to bear
And when radiation sickness starts to set in
It won't be long before we join them there

Then we can tend to the dying
Their screams are multiplying
There's no medicine to spare
And there's fallout in the air
Walking in an atomic wonderland

Walking in an atomic wonderland
walking in an atomic wonderland

[Johnny The Cook]

Gone away is civilization
Here to stay is radiation
Our hair will fall away
And for death we'll pray
Walking in an atomic wonderland

Another excellent one. Rene is our new muse!

[hoa nguyen]

Gone away is civilization
Here to stay is radiation
Our hair will fall away
And for death we'll pray
Walking in an atomic wonderland

Another excellent one. Rene is our new muse!

Everybody loves the apocalypse!

[Joe Jack Onassis]

Gone away is civilization
Here to stay is radiation
Our hair will fall away
And for death we'll pray
Walking in an atomic wonderland

Another excellent one. Rene is our new muse!

Everybody loves the apocalypse!

This really is the best apocalypse ever!  Seriously though, this week lets focus on not getting Joe Jack killed.  And nobody kills my dad.  That's my job.  Like when Tommy Kirk shoots Old Yeller in the corn crib. 

[hoa nguyen]

JOE JACK DON'T BE A HERO (Sung to the tune of "Billy Don't Be a Hero" by Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods)

We went driving a school bus along Main Street
Trying to find the library to hide
Joe Jack was fighting right alongside us
His young chest swelled out with pride
He said he really liked killing zombies
And that it was his purpose in life
I was with him on the bus that day
And thought he's heading down a road of strife

Joe Jack, don't be a hero, don't get eaten alive
Joe Jack, don't be a hero, stay in the shelter and try to survive
And when he talked of Old Yeller, we knew he was a naive feller
Joe Jack, don't be a hero, stay here with us

Our party was trapped in a shelter
Crazed zombies were wandering the town
Then we heard the sheriff
Scratching at the door and sniffing around
Joe Jack said I'm the one to kill my dad
I'm the man to fill him full of lead
And then he marched ouside the shelter
Forgettin' all the words that I said

I said
Joe Jack, don't be a hero, don't get eaten alive
Joe Jack, don't be a hero, stay in the shelter and try to survive
And when he talked of Old Yeller, we knew he was a naive feller
Joe Jack, don't be a hero, stay here with us

Then we heard the sounds outside the door
The rending sounds that the zombies made
Joe Jack didn't scream as he faced his death
And the zombies tore all his limbs away
I heard they turned him into pate'

[Joe Jack Onassis]

seriously.  don't get me killed.  or I'll kick YOU in the corncrib.

[Johnny The Cook]

seriously.  don't get me killed.  or I'll kick YOU in the corncrib.

She's not even gonna be there. It's me you have to worry about. I'm thinking we need some hand-to-hand zombie Texas cage matches. BYOFC (bring your own folding chair). We can see how long it takes your zombie dad to turn Apple Jack into Apple Sauce.

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[Sister Bea Attitude]

Asian Girl (To "China Girl" David Bowie)

I could escape this fallout with that Asian Girl
I think she's a convict, that little Asian Girl
I see her switch blade knife sharp as ginger
Saw these bombs crashing

I'm in a bunker with that little Asian Girl
Sleep with one eye open, where's that little Asian Girl
I hear her speaking in a foreign tongue
Saw these bombs crashing down

I'm feeling magic like I'm Mr. Woodhope
When I know where that Asian Girl is
I could pretend that I got a divorce from Him
When I look at that Asian Girl

I stumble into the bunker like a sacred cow
Visions of rosaries in my head
Rites for everyone
It's in the white of the flash

That little Asian Girl
You shouldn't mess with me
I'll ruin everything you are
You know;
I'll give you holy orders
I'll give you communion
I'll give you men who want to rock your world

And when I get excited
That little Asian Girl says
Oh Sister, just you shut your mouth
She says ... sh-sh-shhhut the fuck up!

[Sister Bea Attitude]

I'm the Happiest Nun in the Fallout Shelter (To "I'm the Happiest Girl in the Whole USA"  by Tanya Tucker)

Shine on me A-Bomb walk with me Christ it's an apocolyptic day
I'm the happiest nun in the fallout shelter
Good morning Hoa Nguyen hello Joe Jack wake up sleepy head
Why'd we move this whole stupid bunch so far underneath the ground
Just one more minute that's why we moved them one more bomb or two
Do you love wakin' up next to me as much as I love wakin' up next to Hoa
You make the freeze dried coffee I'll make the cots I'll fix Jack's lunch and he'll fix mine
Now tell me the truth does this old robe look funny honey I'm feeling fine
Now we'll be careful gotta stay I love you have a fine end of days
And kiss the happiest nun in the fallout shelter
Apocolyptic thanks to you Lord for making them for me and
Thank you for letting life turn out the way that I always thought it should be
There once was a time when I could not imagine how it would feel to say
I'm the happiest nun in the fallout shelter
Shine on me H-bombs walk with me guys it's an apocolyptic day
I'm the happiest nun in the fallout shelter
Shine on me sunshine...

[Joe Jack Onassis]

That little Asian Girl
You shouldn't mess with me
I'll ruin everything you are
You know;
I'll give you holy orders
I'll give you communion
I'll give you men who want to rock your world

Are you maybe unclear on the whole nun concept?