So for the benefit of Brad and myself...

[hoa nguyen]

What happened on Thursday?

[Johnny The Cook]

Three words: Giant Radioactive Scorpions!

[hoa nguyen]

Three words: Giant Radioactive Scorpions!

OK. That was the short version.

What's the long version?

[Johnny The Cook]

We closed the sheter door after Joe Jack was the last to come in with a wild-eyed expression on his face. It was dark...no power at all. A few of us had flashlights that still work. There are about 50-60 people in here, divided into three groups: us, the wretched huddled masses, and the wealthy high-rollers with their secret service bodyguards.

Sister Attitude ministered to the zombie children (they don't seem to be doing well) and Hua, Joe Jack and David Tennant disappeared to who-knows-where. Meanwhile Clem, Buck and myself looked for the power room. Johnny Depp directed us toward the back of the shelter where two agents had already gone ahead of us and not returned.

The complex is a sprawling 1950s era facility, but most of the supplies have been taken over the years. There are generators, but the fuel has been taken away recently. We found a corridor that led deeper underground and to a newer area. This part of the joint is overrun by fast-moving scorpions. They started swarming on us and we all got stung. I retreated realizing that we were ill-prepared to deal with a scorpion horde. Buck and Clem waded onward and made it to a large door. Small scorpions were streaming through the gap at the bottom of the door and Buck got stung again while trying to open it. He did not take the hint from the GM and attempted the door again, this time opening it to see an Aragog-like Mother-of-all-Scorpions.

And that would be your cliffhanger ending.

[hoa nguyen]

Lucky for me I was off roughing up Cancer Boy. I don't suspect he puts up as much of a fight as a buncha radioactive scorpions.

[Johnny The Cook]

Lucky for me I was off roughing up Cancer Boy. I don't suspect he puts up as much of a fight as a buncha radioactive scorpions.

I figured the three of you were off having some "private time"...working on a new entry for the Journal.

[Johnny The Cook]

And now for the musical version of events unknown:

Cancer Boy, Joe Jack and Hoa to the tune of "Abraham, Martin, and John" by Richard Holler

Anybody here seen that guy called Cancer Boy?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
He had a patriot’s journal and was coughing up blood
You know I just looked around and he's gone

Anybody here seen my new friend Hoa?
Can you tell me where she's gone?
She robbed a lotta people and fought some undead children
I just looked around and she's gone

(brief instrumental interlude - organ)

Anybody here seen ol’ deputy Joe Jack?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
His father’s now a zombie, I think he’s a little crazed
I just looked around and he's gone

Didn't you love the way they hazed Officer Mike?
Didn't they try to fight some zombies with you and me?
Now gone off to pee
Or a threesome, yes a Ménage à Trois

Anybody here seen that last kid Zombie?
Can you tell me where it’s gone?
I thought I saw him shambling off into the dark
With Cancer Boy, Joe Jack, and Hoa

[hoa nguyen]

TENNANT'S BOOK (Sung to the tune of "Picture Book" by The Kinks)

Picture yourself in an apocalyptic state
Down in a shelter pondering your fate
Tennant's book, what secrets does it hold, what mysteries will unfold on the pages there inside?
Tennant's book, what end-of-the-world lore could shake us to the core on the pages there inside?
Hoa, hoa, hoa, hoa, hoa hoa.
Hoa, hoa, hoa, hoa, hoa hoa.
Tennant's book.
Tennant's book.

I wonder why the world just died in flames.
Cancer Boy's journal just might explain.
Tennant's book, a scientific log, could help us clear the fog and explain these attacks.
Tennant's book, a mysterious text that may leave us vexed as we read the awful facts.
Tennant's book, let's open it wide to see what's inside even though Cancer Boy objects.
Hoa, hoa, hoa, hoa, hoa hoa.
Hoa, hoa, hoa, hoa, hoa hoa.
Tennant's book.
Tennant's book.
Tennant's book.
Tennant's book.

Tennant's book,
Hoa, hoa, hoa, hoa, hoa hoa.
Hoa, hoa, hoa, hoa, hoa hoa.
A-Joe-Jackie-Jackie-Doo.
Tennant's book,
Hoa, hoa, hoa, hoa, hoa hoa.
Hoa, hoa, hoa, hoa, hoa hoa.
A-Joe-Jackie-Jackie-Doo.

Tennant's book, written by his dad, obviously mad, a long time ago.
Long time ago,
Long time ago,
Long time ago,
Long time ago,
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[hoa nguyen]

You better learn how to spell my name right, Johnny Long Nose.

And now for the musical version of events unknown:

Cancer Boy, Joe Jack and Hua to the tune of "Abraham, Martin, and John" by Richard Holler

Anybody here seen that guy called Cancer Boy?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
He had a patriot’s journal and was coughing up blood
You know I just looked around and he's gone

Anybody here seen my new friend Hua?
Can you tell me where she's gone?
She robbed a lotta people and fought some undead children
I just looked around and she's gone

(brief instrumental interlude - organ)

Anybody here seen ol’ deputy Joe Jack?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
His father’s now a zombie, I think he’s a little crazed
I just looked around and he's gone

Didn't you love the way they hazed Officer Mike?
Didn't they try to fight some zombies with you and me?
Now gone off to pee
Or a threesome, yes a Ménage à Trois

Anybody here seen that last kid Zombie?
Can you tell me where it’s gone?
I thought I saw him shambling off into the dark
With Cancer Boy, Joe Jack, and Hua

[Johnny The Cook]

You better learn how to spell my name right, Johnny Long Nose.

Whoops...usually the only spelling I do is for the daily special. That's what I get for spelling phonetically. It's fixed now.

[hoa nguyen]

You better learn how to spell my name right, Johnny Long Nose.

Whoops...usually the only spelling I do is for the daily special. That's what I get for spelling phonetically. It's fixed now.

Yeah. When someone's last name is spelled N-G-U-Y-E-N and pronounced "wen," it's usually not the best idea to attempt a phonetical spelling of the first. 

[Joe Jack Onassis]

You better learn how to spell my name right, Johnny Long Nose.

This following a post in which she calls me "a-Joe-Jackie-Jackie-Doo."  I just got our gamemaster to stop calling me Jack and now this shit...

[hoa nguyen]

You better learn how to spell my name right, Johnny Long Nose.

This following a post in which she calls me "a-Joe-Jackie-Jackie-Doo."  I just got our gamemaster to stop calling me Jack and now this shit...

What else even vaguely rhymes and fits meter with the "a-shooby-doobie-doo" from the original song?

Certainly not "Officer Mike-a-Mikey-Doo" or "Clemmy Clem Clem Clem."