August and it's not too hot to filk

[hoa nguyen]

DOWN IN THE SHELTER (Sung to the tune of "Down on the Corner" by Creedence Clearwater Revival)

When the bombs start falling just about the end of time
Under the library we're covered in blood and grime
Seven weirdos from Taos who escaped the zombie horde
We're gonna wait this thing out and hope we don't get bored

CHORUS:
Down in the shelter, off of the street
Weirdos from Taos are hiding
Bring MREs if you wanna eat

Johnny the short order slugger has time to simmer down
Buck the manic mechanic can tinker with stuff he found
We've got time to stare at the walls while the fallout fades
The nun just grips her bloody axe, looks crazier every day

CHORUS

You dont need no rations just stow away
But if the food runs out, cannibalize you we just may
Over in the corner there's giant scorpions
And lots of stir-crazy people cradling their guns

CHORUS

[hoa nguyen]

HIDIN' IN THE SHELTER (Sung to the tune of "Lookin' Out My Back Door" by Creedence Clearwater Revival)

Just escaped the zombie mob
The cut on my leg's starting to throb
Got to close the door before more approach
Cabin fever setting in, pretty soon I'm singin'

CHORUS:
Doo, doo, doo, hidin' in the shelter

Theres a radioactive scorpion
Glowing like it's made of neon 
Look at the happy mutants crawling all around
Give me my gun and shoot it down, singing

CHORUS

Men in black and blue jumpsuits are still somewhere outside
Hope they don't come down looking for you
Doo, doo doo.
We're up shit creek and the boat's got a leak

CHORUS

Men in black and blue jumpsuits are still somewhere outside
Hope they don't come down looking for you
Doo, doo doo.
We're sitting underground and fallout's raining down

CHORUS

The future's looking mighty bleak
In six months we'll have a peek
Look at the happy mutants crawling all around
We're sitting underground and fallout's raining down

CHORUS

[Johnny The Cook]

Scorpions (to the tune of "Proud Mary" by Creedence Clearwater Revival)

Looking for lights in the shelter,
Searching in the dark for pre-packaged food,
And I never expected an insect horde,
Of vicious arthropods in a stinging mood.

Our fortunes are turning,
Poison keeps on burning,
Stepping, stepping, stepping on scorpions.

Slung a lot of hash at the truckstop,
Seen my fair share of kitchen parasites,
But I never saw a bug this gigantic,
Until I suffered these mutant scorpion bites.

Some won’t be returning,
Neurotoxin’s burning,
Dying, dying, dying by scorpions.

Fleeing, fleeing, fleeing from scorpions.

If you go deep in the shelter,
Bet you see a scorpion twice your size.
You can try to fight ‘em, but there’s just too many,
Swarming scorpions will soon be your demise.

Now your guts are churning,
Venom keeps on burning,
Poisoned, poisoned, poisoned by scorpions.

Killed, killed, killed by scorpions.
Croaked, croaked, croaked by scorpions.
Slaughtered, slaughtered, slaughtered by scorpions.

[hoa nguyen]

The use of "vicious arthropods" in a song lyric instantly elevates you to the position of Filk Fucking Master.

Scorpions (to the tune of "Proud Mary" by Creedence Clearwater Revival)

Looking for lights in the shelter,
Searching in the dark for pre-packaged food,
And I never expected an insect horde,
Of vicious arthropods in a stinging mood.

Our fortunes are turning,
Poison keeps on burning,
Stepping, stepping, stepping on scorpions.

Slung a lot of hash at the truckstop,
Seen my fair share of kitchen parasites,
But I never saw a bug this gigantic,
Until I suffered these mutant scorpion bites.

Some won’t be returning,
Neurotoxin’s burning,
Dying, dying, dying by scorpions.

Fleeing, fleeing, fleeing from scorpions.

If you go deep in the shelter,
Bet you see a scorpion twice your size.
You can try to fight ‘em, but there’s just too many,
Swarming scorpions will soon be your demise.

Now your guts are churning,
Venom keeps on burning,
Poisoned, poisoned, poisoned by scorpions.

Killed, killed, killed by scorpions.
Croaked, croaked, croaked by scorpions.
Slaughtered, slaughtered, slaughtered by scorpions.