The filking holiday is over

[Eddie Chang]

ANOTHER BAD DAY ON RUST (Sung to the tune of "Another one Bites the Dust" by Queen)

Set down warily at the port
Not sure where to go
This planet's one big old scrap heap
Goodies buried somewhere below
Are we missing, are missing some clue
Is there someone we need to meet
The flesheater or the creepy spy
Or some fool on the street

Another bad day on Rust
Another bad day on Rust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another bad day on Rust
Hey, did we just find clue
Another bad day on Rust

How do you think we're gonna find a thing
There's just not much to see
Guess we better break into someone's pad
And make off with his PC

Are you happy, are you satisfied
Looks like we've got a clue
But now the baddie's on our case
Got Outsiders after you

Chorus

Another bad day on Rust
Another bad day on Rust
Another bad day on Rust
Another bad day on Rust

There are plenty of places to excavate
And carve into the ground
There's the north pole
The south pole
You can even check a glory hole
And see just what goes down
But Im ready, yes Im ready for a clue
Im gonna rip off someone's PC
Be it the flesheater or the creepy spy
Or some fool on the street

[Lord of Ancients]

Die Today (to the tune of "Holiday": Music :rudolf schenker Lyrics:klaus meine)

The surface is so far away
You're gonna die today
The surface is so far away
You're gonna die today

Looking down the wrong end of a gun
Outsiders, they aren't done
The surface is so far away
You're gonna die today

The surface is so far away
You're gonna die today
The surface is so far away
You're gonna die today

Death rains down from above
Oh where's the bar
The surface is so far away
You're gonna die today

The midget whips out his gun
and Gargel is his name
Goodbye to the sun be warned
On a planet very far away from clones
Be warned on this rusty planet without name
Looking for a temple you do come
To a planet very far away from clones

[Lord of Ancients]

Rust Will Win (to the tune of "Dust in the Wind" by Kansas)

A thousand eyes
Crawling down a hole that's been hidden from
bad guy's lair
Where their committing atrocities

Rust will win
Don't fool yourself Rust will win

Smoke that bong
Even if I get the GM high he'll still kill me
Don't step in goo
Hope that idiot brings my character sheet

Rust will win
Don't fool yourself Rust will win

Wow
Here they come
Say goodbye to your galaxy
Eddie's cash
And all his money a normal life won't buy

Rust will win
Don't fool yourself Rust will win
Rust will win

[Lord of Ancients]

So bring on your filks pussies before they end up as dirges for the fallen! 

[Eddie Chang]

Sing, you rummies, sing!!!

[Náriël Telemnar]

Over indeed, this holiday is.

The Delta World Empires Song (sung to the tune of "The Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin)

Two, three, four
I’m a bu-uug, I’m a bu-uug
I come from a world that moves real slow
Set adrift through space by men long ago

The plan of the creators will guide us to our goals
To find the armor, get transformed and vanquish all outsiders

On we march from, from star to star
Our only goal to find what clues there are

I’m a bu-uug, I’m a bu-uug
I come from a world that moves real slow
Set adrift through space by men long ago

How huge was that tree
But still we found the signs,
Down through the roots we found the shrines
We’ll be the new divines

On we march from, from star to star
Our only goal to find what clues there are

Then to the Well of Life
Down through the shoggoths’ lair
We found the temple, were transformed
They will serve us now they swear

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Ahh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

[Náriël Telemnar]

Bug Rust (to the tune of "Young Lust" by Pink Floyd)

I am just a soft bug,
Stranger on this globe.
Where are all the old signs?
Who's this Charra gonna have to probe?
Ooooh, I need a transformation.
Ooooh, I need a little clue.

Will some troglodyte in this rusty land
Guide me and my loyal band?
Take a mo’ and stop eating slime
We’re nearly outta time.

Ooooh, I need a transformation.
Ooooh, I need a little clue.

{iChat rings..Click of laptop being opened}
"Hello..?"
"Yes, a collect call for Mr. Charra from Aleister.
Will you accept the charges from the Terran Union?"
{clunk! of laptop being put down}

"Oh, He hung up! That's your laptop, right? I wonder why he hung up?
Is there supposed to be something there besides your laptop there to answer?"

{iChat rings again...clunk of laptop being picked up}
"Hello?"
"This is Terran Union calling, are we reaching...
{interrupted by laptop being put down}
"See he keeps hanging up, and it's a bug answering."

{whirr of nukes being fired}

[Náriël Telemnar]

"Surfin' Excreta" (to the tune, poorly, of "Surfin' U.S.A." by the Beach Boys)

Some times you gotta move along
And find the quickest way
Then you gotta be surfin'
The Allah Charra way
You'd see 'em pick up a flagstone
Grabbin’ on with their toes
To where slimy grimy dung flows
Surfin’ Excreta

The bug is surfin' like a star (Poop Shoot Surfin’ Excreta)
Gargle then tries the luge (Poop Shoot Surfin’ Excreta)
He lands with one head out (Poop Shoot Surfin’ Excreta)
Dr. Em samples a stool (Poop Shoot Surfin’ Excreta)
You know that he’s no fool (Poop Shoot Surfin’ Excreta)
Then down goes the cheetah (Poop Shoot Surfin’)
Everybody's gone surfin'
Surfin’ Excreta

We'll all be fighting some robots
When we get through this room
We'll put away our surfboards
And leave this fetid flume
But we’ll remember the fun here
No slimy poop’s sweeta
So tell the GM we're surfin'
Surfin' Excreta

Xeno simply glides down (Poop Shoot Surfin’ Excreta)
Not even soiled at all (Poop Shoot Surfin’ Excreta)
Poor Elvis then tumbles (Poop Shoot Surfin’ Excreta)
Iq and Eddie swiftly fall (Poop Shoot Surfin’ Excreta)
Watch out for the rhino (Poop Shoot Surfin’ Excreta)
It’s a tidal wave (Poop Shoot Surfin’)

Everybody's gone surfin'
Surfin’ Excreta

Everybody's gone surfin'
Surfin’ Excreta

Everybody's gone surfin'
Surfin’ Excreta

Everybody's gone surfin'
Surfin’ Excreta

Yeah, Everybody's gone surfin'
Surfin’ Excreta

[Náriël Telemnar]

Poop humor is such a rich vein...

"Surfin' The Poop Shoot" (to the tune of the Drifter's "Under the Boardwalk")

Oh, when we’re far below Rust down in the slime eaters’ lair
And our mates on the ship have just nuked the tunnel from the air
Surfin’ the Poop Shoot, is all we can do
To avoid those evil guys from the Terran U

(Surfin’ the Poop Shoot) Down through the slime
(Surfin’ the Poop Shoot) What a stinky good time
(Surfin’ the Poop Shoot) I know it sounds absurd
(Surfin’ the Poop Shoot) Zippin’ through the turd
Surfin’ the Poop Shoot (Poop Shoot!)

If we head on back we’re risking the chance of being shot
Mm-mm, So we gotta escape goin’ down where the troggies squat
Surfin’ the Poop Shoot, in deep doo doo
No choice but to quietly glide out through the poo

(Surfin’ the Poop Shoot) Down through the slime
(Surfin’ the Poop Shoot) What a stinky good time
(Surfin’ the Poop Shoot) Bet ten will be hung
(Surfin’ the Poop Shoot) Gliding over the dung
Surfin’ the Poop Shoot (Poop Shoot!)

{break...like wind}

Oooooh, Surfin’ the Poop Shoot, it sounds pretty vile
For years the troglodytes have been laying this pile

(Surfin’ the Poop Shoot) Down through the slime
(Surfin’ the Poop Shoot) What a stinky good time
(Surfin’ the Poop Shoot) Now we’re all surfin’ fools
(Surfin’ the Poop Shoot) As we’re dodging the stools
Surfin’ the Poop Shoot (Poop Shoot!)

[Lord of Ancients]

Wow, four! Terrific, wonderful! But just for accuracy these are bad guys with The Terran Dominion (A nearby fascist human empire), while the Terran Union are the original expansionist forces from Earth led by the likes of the Kerlocks.
Just nit-picking there really.

[Náriël Telemnar]

Wow, four! Terrific, wonderful! But just for accuracy these are bad guys with The Terran Dominion (A nearby fascist human empire), while the Terran Union are the original expansionist forces from Earth led by the likes of the Kerlocks.
Just nit-picking there really.

You say Dominion, I say Union let's call the whole thing off.

Besides, "Terran D" doesn't rhyme. I demand that you change your plot to fit my filk.

[Eddie Chang]

DOMINION (Sung to the tune of "America" from West Side Story)

EDDIE:
Oh, Terra...
You lovely planet...
Planet of my ancestry
Always the Chinese noodles frying
Always the Bronx cheers flying

ALLAH:
Oh, Terra...
You ugly planet...
Island of evil destiny
Always the war ships flying
Always the nonhumans frying
And the evil empires
And the scary fascists
And their nasty habits
I like it out here in deep space
So, you can keep your Terran master race

OTHERS:
I'm just scared of the Dominion!
I wanna be spared from the Dominion!
Don't wanna be ensnared by the Dominion!
War should be declared on the Dominion!

EDDIE:
I want to visit the city of Shanghai

ALLAH:
Go ask the Terran Dominion for a ride

EDDIE:
The birthplace of all humanity

ALLAH:
The birthplace of such brutality

OTHERS:
Evil troops of the Dominion!
Chasing our group the Dominion!
They'll try to regroup the Dominion!
Down on us they'll swoop the Dominion!

EDDIE:
I'll take a ship and visit the place

ALLAH:
Better hope you're the right race

EDDIE:
I'll give all of you a free ride

ALLAH:
No thanks, I'm not into genocide

OTHERS:
Chasing us down the Dominion!
Under the ground the Dominion!
Shock troops abound the Dominion!
Running all around the Dominion!

EDDIE:
I'll land the ship on the surface there

ALLAH:
Better hope you're not in their crosshairs

EDDIE:
I'll give humanity a warm embrace

ALLAH:
Maybe they'll shoot you back into space

OTHERS:
We don't want to fight the Dominion!
Stand up to the might of the Dominion!
They're quite a fright the Dominion!
A galactic blight the Dominion!

EDDIE:
When I will go back to Old Terra

ALLAH:
Why don't you just get out of here-ah

EDDIE:
It will kick off a brand new era

ALLAH:
I doubt anyone will even care-ah