so - A what the hell happened?

[Brand Nar Gath]

Did we win?

[Jean-Sebastian Clement]

Yes. 110 to 99.

[Brand Nar Gath]

No-A .., against-a  the Genoans astupido.

[Jean-Sebastian Clement]

No-A .., against-a  the Genoans astupido.

Oh, sorry. Torpor makes you astupido. I missed the fight, but I think we won and then they used Stragoi's blood to wake me up. Or something...I'm still fuzzy on the details.

[Dario Fulci]

No-A .., against-a  the Genoans astupido.

Oh, sorry. Torpor makes you astupido. I missed the fight, but I think we won and then they used Stragoi's blood to wake me up. Or something...I'm still fuzzy on the details.

It's like he said.

We found Stragoi and his brides' hiding place in a rat-infested necropolis. We staked the plague-carrying dog and drained his brides, then we had our allies use Stragoi's powerful blood to bring Corso out of torpor.

And then we had sandwiches.

[Nyther]

After sandwiches, we retired for the day and were rudely awakened by some Bible thumpers breakin' down our door.  We're all good Catholic boys, what would a group of angry Catholics want with us?

[Jean-Sebastian Clement]

"Strigoii's Dead" (to the tune of "Freddie's Dead" by Curtis Mayfield)

Hey, hey
Suck, suck
Yeah, yeah
Ah, ha
Strigoii’s dead
That's what I said
He was slain by our clan
Said we'd see him killed
But his brides were there too
And we should've known

Everybody attacked him
Ripped him up and assailed him
An evil lord of rats
Killed by Mastelli brats
Without Corso
But that's how it goes
His brides fought like bitches now
But we took them down, wow
Remember Strigoii’s dead

We sunk the Genoan fleet
But the people are in the street
We can deal with vampires and brides
But the Catholics ain’t on our side
Ain't nothing said
But Strigoii’s dead

Hey, hey
Kill, kill
Hey, hey
Yeah, yeah
Ha, ha
Suck, suck
Yeah, yeah
Ha, ha
Yeah, yeah
Strigoii’s dead

All we want is our leader back
Corso Donati will get us back on track
We could all rule this island city
A vampire committee
But the citizens riot
Don't wanna be like Strigoii now
'Cause Strigoii’s dead

Everybody attacked him
Ripped him up and assailed him
An evil lord of rats
Killed by Mastelli brats
People are in the palace now
If you wanna rule this city, fight
Remember Strigoii’s dead
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
Strigoii’s dead
Hey, hey
Ha, ha
Suck, suck
Ha, ha...

[Dario Fulci]

"Strigoii's Dead" (to the tune of "Freddie's Dead" by Curtis Mayfield)

Hey, hey
Suck, suck
Yeah, yeah
Ah, ha
Strigoii’s dead
That's what I said
He was slain by our clan
Said we'd see him killed
But his brides were there too
And we should've known

Everybody attacked him
Ripped him up and assailed him
An evil lord of rats
Killed by Mastelli brats
Without Corso
But that's how it goes
His brides fought like bitches now
But we took them down, wow
Remember Strigoii’s dead

We sunk the Genoan fleet
But the people are in the street
We can deal with vampires and brides
But the Catholics ain’t on our side
Ain't nothing said
But Strigoii’s dead

Hey, hey
Kill, kill
Hey, hey
Yeah, yeah
Ha, ha
Suck, suck
Yeah, yeah
Ha, ha
Yeah, yeah
Strigoii’s dead

All we want is our leader back
Corso Donati will get us back on track
We could all rule this island city
A vampire committee
But the citizens riot
Don't wanna be like Strigoii now
'Cause Strigoii’s dead

Everybody attacked him
Ripped him up and assailed him
An evil lord of rats
Killed by Mastelli brats
People are in the palace now
If you wanna rule this city, fight
Remember Strigoii’s dead
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
Strigoii’s dead
Hey, hey
Ha, ha
Suck, suck
Ha, ha...

That's some world-class filking right there. Nice job.

[Esteban the Deathmage]

"Strigoii's Dead" (to the tune of "Bela Legosi's Dead" by Bauhaus)

rat on rat, Mastelli's night charge
won't wait for backup
but Strigoii's dead
the brides have been dispached
Hungarians have been bled
the priests have raised the roof off
but Strigoii's dead

Undead undead undead

The pestulant brides line the sewers
Strewn with Venitian "flowers"
His dark name seen too soon
A plague that keeps returning
is out
and Strigoii's dead

Undead undead undead

[Jean-Sebastian Clement]

"Stragoii's Dead" (to the tune of "Bela Legosi's Dead" by Bauhaus)

Nice...I'm glad I'm not the only one.

[gepetto corbucci]

"A Corso Who's Staked"  (to the tune of "A Horse With No Name" by America)

At the end of our sea battle
I was looking at all the death
There was blood and gore and bones and teeth
Bodies sinking in the water beneath
The first thing I did after I killed the mage
Was go up to have a look around
I saw my friends and they all looked sad
Then I noticed the absence of sound

I've gone to the Doge's with a Corso who's staked
It feels good to be back from the bay
To the Doge's
I don't remember this place
'Cause I've been at the fort to keep Genoans away
La la la la la la la...

After two days of Venetian moon
We went to see the cities dead
I snuck in just a bit too soon
And Stragori's eyes had turned red
And the story they told of all the blood that had flowed
Made me start to feel full of dread

I've gone to the Doge's with a Corso who's staked
It feels good to be back from the bay
To the Doge's
I don't remember this place
'Cause I've been at the fort to keep Genoans away
La la la la la la la...

Then Dario jumped in to save me
It was a battle of the highest degree
There was guts and gristle and bloody insides
There were two more dead rat brides
We got Stragori's blood for Corso to drink down
And it brought to his face a flush
And the words began to flow of how he needed a crown
And I began to miss his corpse's hush

I've gone to the Doge's with a Corso who's staked
It feels good to be back from the bay
To the Doge's
I don't remember this place
'Cause I've been at the fort to keep Genoans away
La la la la la la la...

[Jean-Sebastian Clement]

And the grammy for Best Filk by an Individual or Group goes to...

"A Corso Who's Staked"  (to the tune of "A Horse With No Name" by America)
Then Dario jumped in to save me
It was a battle of the highest degree
There was guts and gristle and bloody insides
There were two more dead rat brides
We got Stragori's blood for Corso to drink down
And it brought to his face a flush
And the words began to flow of how he needed a crown
And I began to miss his corpse's hush

I've gone to the Doge's with a Corso who's staked
It feels good to be back from the bay
To the Doge's
I don't remember this place
'Cause I've been at the fort to keep Genoans away
La la la la la la la...

[Jean-Sebastian Clement]

I can't help but beat a dead vampire:

Strigoii's Dead (to the tune of "Maiden Wine" aka "Bitter Dregs" by Mr. Spock)

Take care Mastellis, you’re thin on time.
A radiant priest thinks you should pay for your crime.
The people swarm through the floors overhead,
They’re coming for you, now that Stigoii’s dead.
Ahh-ah-ah-ah, Stigoii’s dead.

They’ll stop at nothing as they seek,
To slay the vampires who prey on the meek.
We get blamed for plague deaths that were quite widespread
Mastelli’s are his target, now that Strigoii’s dead.
Ahh-ah-ah-ah, Strigoii’s dead.