Be my bitches and filk for your xp (except Brad and Sanford)

[Spark]

You did very well.  Each of you earned 2,500 x.p. and give yourselves an extra 150 for good roleplaying and sportsmanship.  Also, Brad and Sanford may tack on another 150 each for, well . . . their most intricate, most dedicated filking. 

[Smiling Jack]

Awesome, I will do so with glee.  It does make me feel a bit like the class brown-noser, however.  Maybe next week Ryan will have one of us write down the names of any troublemakers when he uses the restroom.

[Nazurahei]

Sounds like a fair distribution of XP to me. 

[Smiling Jack]

Sounds like a fair distribution of XP to me. 

And it is always nice to level up.

[Nazurahei]

Sounds like a fair distribution of XP to me. 

And it is always nice to level up.

Indeed it is.

Helllllooooo, Spectral Hand spell. Nothing like being able to deliver a negative energy touch attack from the other side of the room.

[Smiling Jack]

Yes, but don't you have to sit on your hand for five minutes before you do this?

[Nazurahei]

Yes, but don't you have to sit on your hand for five minutes before you do this?

Tales of your hand-sitting, hin, are scrawled all over the walls of the Blue Flame's lavatory.

[Smiling Jack]

Since I have nothing better to do today...

Two Tiny Assassins  (to the tune of "The Sanity Assassin" by Bauhaus)

Sinister halflings stab at your calf
Achilles tendons screaming
My confidants stifle a laugh
Tears from their eyes are streaming
Stand on a chair
Till danger passes by
There's no need to worry
You see, they just can't reach that high

They'd drop a capsule in your drink
But they can't reach the counter

Ankle-biters in the hall
Hiding in the holes made by mice
They strike out when least expected
High boots are worth the price
Laughing at the picture
No one heeds what their thief has said
It doesn't matter if they're hin
In the long run you'll be dead
"We'll post a notice, Jack
To alleviate your fear:
You must be as tall as this sign
To assassinate people 'round here"

They'd drop a capsule in your drink
But they can't reach the counter

Two tiny assassins
Never striking from the ceilling
Two tiny assassins
Danger from the ground
Two tiny assassins
They come at you when you're kneeling
Two tiny assassins
When you're down you're down

They'd drop a capsule in your drink
But they can't reach the counter
(repeat)

[Smiling Jack]

Yes, but don't you have to sit on your hand for five minutes before you do this?

Tales of your hand-sitting, hin, are scrawled all over the walls of the Blue Flame's lavatory.

And who would we suspect has been doing this scrawling, scribe?

[Nazurahei]

Yes, but don't you have to sit on your hand for five minutes before you do this?

Tales of your hand-sitting, hin, are scrawled all over the walls of the Blue Flame's lavatory.

And who would we suspect has been doing this scrawling, scribe?

Why would I write on a lavatory wall? I can afford vellum.

[Smiling Jack]

Yes, but don't you have to sit on your hand for five minutes before you do this?

Tales of your hand-sitting, hin, are scrawled all over the walls of the Blue Flame's lavatory.

And who would we suspect has been doing this scrawling, scribe?

Why would I write on a lavatory wall? I can afford vellum.

Well, it's not the dwarf, he can't spell.  From the smell of him, he doesn't bother with the lavatory, either.

[Nazurahei]

Yes, but don't you have to sit on your hand for five minutes before you do this?

Tales of your hand-sitting, hin, are scrawled all over the walls of the Blue Flame's lavatory.

And who would we suspect has been doing this scrawling, scribe?

Why would I write on a lavatory wall? I can afford vellum.

Well, it's not the dwarf, he can't spell.  From the smell of him, he doesn't bother with the lavatory, either.

I thought by the smell of him cleaning the lavatory was one of his job duties.

[Smiling Jack]

Yes, but don't you have to sit on your hand for five minutes before you do this?

Tales of your hand-sitting, hin, are scrawled all over the walls of the Blue Flame's lavatory.

And who would we suspect has been doing this scrawling, scribe?

Why would I write on a lavatory wall? I can afford vellum.

Well, it's not the dwarf, he can't spell.  From the smell of him, he doesn't bother with the lavatory, either.

I thought by the smell of him cleaning the lavatory was one of his job duties.

No, that's not the smell of job duties,  just dooty.

[Gabriel Cash]

I just piss in your drinks. Bottoms up, pee swillers.

[Nazurahei]

I just piss in your drinks. Bottoms up, pee swillers.

Too bad I drink at the Old Forge Tavern and not your establishment.

I guess the Hin is the only one who's consumed any "Dwarven Pale Ale."