Poor Kralig, I hardly knew you

[Smiling Jack]

I know, I know.  You're thinking "here's where they tell me I died when I wasn't there.  I'm not falling for that one."  Not so!  Here's the recap:

At the top of the stairs we found a large room divided by a wall of reeds.  On the other side of the reeds we found a pool decorated with a statue of a dwarf (at least it looked like a dwarf in the picture).  The statue was of no importance, but at the bottom of the pool we discovered seven gold talismans set into the floor.  The talismans each depicted a different animal:  fox, snake, bear, owl, raven, turtle, and penis.  Some of us touched the talismans, and were granted ability boosts or other bonuses.  I touched the fox for a dex bonus, the Deacon touched the owl and got some spells back, Assack touched the bear for strength--and so forth.  Those that did touch and receive bonuses (for some were not worthy and gained nothing) also grew fur or feathers similar to the animal on the talisman.  You touched the penis talisman of course, and next week you will have to let us draw a penis on your character sheet.  (Actually, you touched nothing.  I just can't remember what the seventh animal was.)

The next room held four lizard men, whom we easily overpowered, and a bronze door.  There was an ornate depiction on the door of seven men bringing in pieces of an owl bear.  Inside the room were seven straw men and, surprise, a giant stuffed silverback owlbear.  When the bravest of the party entered the room, the dead owlbear sprung to life.  It proved to be too big to exit the room and the party retreated to a safe distance to slay it with ranged weapons.  This took forever (the owlbear had 130-something HP) but the beast was eventually defeated.

After this victory it was discovered that the brave and beloved hin was no longer in the room.  Down a short flight of stairs the rest of the party found a giant constrictor snake, bloated and resting contentedly.  With dread in their hearts, the party slew the wretched beast, and there in its belly found the remains of their dear companion.  Overcome with grief and loss, the party found they could not go on, and they decided to end the adventure for the night.  Also it was midnight.

Now, some have already questioned my actions, and have berated me for wandering off.  To them I say this:  I was not meant to stand around and observe.  I was down to just three bullets in my sling, and would be unable to help in the unneccessary slaughter of such a rare and beautiful beast.  Those stairs just seemed so... enticing.  I had to go down those stairs.  I am not a dwarf or a half-orc, content to stand back and watch events unfold.  No!  I am a Strongheart and fear no adventure!  So yes, I "wandered off" in the middle of combat, and yes, I paid a horrible price.  Would I do it again?  In a heartbeat.  I just had to see what sort of mischief could be found at the bottom of those stairs.

I just hope that my donations to the great god Torm have not gone unnoticed.

[Spark]

Your leaving the party during combat is not so odd now you have reminded the often dull DM you were under compulsion from the magic of the totem disc.  You will be rewarded accordingly in xp at the end of this adventure.  Let no ill words be spoken of Smiling Jack Twlevefingers, for he was ensorcelled and was under a geas to seek out mischief.

[Náriël Telemnar]

I was under a geas to remember three first level spells.

[Spark]

Oh, do keep quiet.

[Smiling Jack]

It's not the deacon's fault.  His feathers just get a bit ruffled.

[Smiling Jack]

Who picks the owl anyway?  There was a raven there!  Why didn't you pick the raven? 

[Nazurahei]

So, what happened again?

I (player, not character) lost consciousness after the owlbear.

This four-hours-of-sleep-a-night shit ain't working too well.

[Smiling Jack]

So, what happened again?

I (player, not character) lost consciousness after the owlbear.

This four-hours-of-sleep-a-night shit ain't working too well.

Please refer to the top of this post.

[Náriël Telemnar]

So, what happened again?

You should also consult your character sheet. You may have picked up some tools.

[Smiling Jack]

Penis  (to the tune of "Venus" by Bananarama)

Drooling on the table top
Snoring with no sense of shame
Who puts these ideas in our heads
The deacon is to blame

We drew it
Yeah, baby, we drew it
Drew that penis, drew the ding-dong
Extra-long schlong
Drew that penis, drew the ding-dong
May have been wrong

Please don't think you were the first
Randy has seen his share
Of graphite depicted wurst
With curli-que hairs

We drew it
Yeah, baby, we drew it
Drew that penis, drew the ding-dong
Burst from its thong
Drew that penis, drew the ding-dong
Awake to a wong

Please do not get upset
Though we drew them without your consent
Some things just can't be helped
Rene draws them by accident

We drew it
Yeah, baby, we drew it
Drew that penis, drew the ding-dong
Hung like King Kong
Drew that penis, drew the ding-dong
Then wrote this song

[Brand Nar Gath]

Your leaving the party during combat is not so odd now you have reminded the often dull DM you were under compulsion from the magic of the totem disc.  You will be rewarded accordingly in xp at the end of this adventure.  Let no ill words be spoken of Smiling Jack Twlevefingers, for he was ensorcelled and was under a geas to seek out mischief.

geez let the cat ot of the bag why don'tcha?

[Nazurahei]

Well, better to have a penis penciled on your character sheet while sleeping than to have one Sharpied onto your cheek.

[Gabriel Cash]

The poor fallen hin. On he good side, Sr. Cinco Sockets has a friend now

[Brand Nar Gath]

The poor fallen hin. On he good side, Sr. Cinco Sockets has a friend now

Did Sr Sockets get magiked and end up in the snake's bell as well?  cool!

[Gabriel Cash]

The poor fallen hin. On he good side, Sr. Cinco Sockets has a friend now

Did Sr Sockets get magiked and end up in the snake's bell as well?  cool!

Since the hin was carrying him, then yes they are both snake shart.