Sanford planted the seed for this filk...

[Smiling Jack]

When You Rot, You Rot  (to the tune of Jerry Reed's "When You're Hot, You're Hot")

Well, me and Knucklebreaker and Deacon Mourning
Were attacked by mummies without any warning
The deacon got his arm shredded
The blood wouldn't clot
The mummies got killed, they shouldn't have risen
I looked at the deacon and his nose was missing
And the deacon he threw up his hands and said
"When you rot, you rot"
I said "Yeah?"

When you rot, you rot
The mummy's rot you got
Sunk his teeth in and you sloughed off some skin
when you rot, you rot
La la la la la la
La la la la la
La la la la la la
When you rot, you rot

Well, the deacon he was looking pretty damn gross
And we didn't need a doctor to diagnose
His condition was pretty plain to see
He looked like a big liver spot
He said "Not good, boys" and then he gave us a shrug 'n' said
"Can't a poor rotting deacon get a sympathy hug
A leper still has feelings"
I said, "No, son when you rot, you rot"
He said "Yeah"

When you rot, you rot
The mummy's rot you got
Starts with a cough then your parts'll fall off
when you rot, you rot
La la la la la la
La la la la la
La la la la la la
When you rot, you rot

Well, it turned out that the party didn't have a cure
His illness was something he'd have to endure
I said "Hey, deacon, old buddy, old pal
I'll pay to make you well when we get back to town"
He smiled (which actually made him look worse)
And said "Maybe you should count the coins in your purse
You were eaten by a snake, Jack, when you rot, you rot"
And I said "Thanks a lot"

When you rot, you rot
The mummy's rot you got
I got ate and they raid my estate
When you rot, you rot

I said, "Well I'll tell ya one thing deacon, old buddy, old pal
If you wasn't wearin' those cleric's robe I'd take out in back of this dungeon
And I'd try a little bit of your peity on
You understand that, you stump preacher?
Who gonna collect my alms for the poor?
(When you rot, you rot)
Pay for my riding dog?
Whadda you mean 'eyes of Torm'?
(When you rot, you rot)
Deacon!
"O deacon!"

[Nazurahei]

I'll buy you a beer if you can figure out how to filk "Amos Moses."

[Smiling Jack]

Yeah.  A beer?  Hmmm.  Yeah.  I don't know about that one.  That's a whole lotta hillbilly filkin'.