I'd like to teach the world to filk in perfect harmony

Nazurahei

Uber Geek

Posts: 374

Death may be the greatest of all human blessings.

I'd like to teach the world to filk in perfect harmony

� on: November 18, 2009, 09:01:49 AM �

BIG COCK (Sung to the tune of "Our House" by Madness)

I finished up my character sheet
I did all my math right
Arranged it so nice and neat
I had all my feats written down
Then I crashed out at the table
And imagine what I found

Big cock, in the middle of my sheet
Big cock, in the middle of my

The drawing was just below my spells
Replete with hair and veins
And turkey gravy smells
It was anatomically correct
Drawn with precision
Extended and erect

Big cock, in the middle of my sheet
Big cock, in the middle of my

Big cock, in the middle of my sheet
(Something tells me)
(That I shouldn’t snooze again)
Big cock, in the middle of my

It was really quite obscene
How could they put it there
Without waking me from my dream
I erased and I erased
But even after much of that
The lines could still be traced

Big cock, in the middle of my sheet
Big cock, in the middle of my

My sheet has been defaced
That pecker’s faint outline
Stares right up at my face
But I’ll admit to my chagrin
At least they didn’t use a marker
And draw it on my chin

Big cock, in the middle of my sheet
Big cock, in the middle of my sheet
Big cock, in the middle of my sheet
Big cock, in the middle of my
Big cock, while I was counting sheep
Big cock, in the middle of my sheet
Big cock, teaches me not to fall asleep
Big cock, in the middle of my sheet
Big cock, in the middle of my sheet


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There are so many little dyings that it doesn't matter which of them is death.

Smiling Jack

Uber Geek

Posts: 400

Will caretake wierd skulls for food

Re: I'd like to teach the world to filk in perfect harmony

� Reply #1 on: November 18, 2009, 09:48:57 AM �

Ha ha! It's funny because it's true! Grin


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Plan B was always really Plan A

Nazurahei

Uber Geek

Posts: 374

Death may be the greatest of all human blessings.

Re: I'd like to teach the world to filk in perfect harmony

� Reply #2 on: November 18, 2009, 11:38:31 AM �

Quote from: Smiling Jack on November 18, 2009, 09:48:57 AM

Ha ha! It's funny because it's true! Grin

Hey, write what you know.


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There are so many little dyings that it doesn't matter which of them is death.

Náriël Telemnar

Entertainer
Administrator
Geek God

Posts: 1185

Companion

Re: I'd like to teach the world to filk in perfect harmony

� Reply #3 on: November 19, 2009, 04:25:59 PM �

No time for a full filk, but the tribute to Jerry Reed continues...to the tune of "East Bound and Down":

Charisma’s Down

Charisma’s down, and my skin is sloughin',
Gettin’ slapped by a mummy sure ain’t no fun.
This disease is progessin’ and don’t know if I’ll make it.
Charisma’s down, now my nose starts to run.


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Náriël Telemnar
A Bard Going Rogue...

Smiling Jack

Uber Geek

Posts: 400

Will caretake wierd skulls for food

Re: I'd like to teach the world to filk in perfect harmony

� Reply #4 on: November 25, 2009, 05:21:45 PM �

Touchin' (to the Greatful Dead's "Truckin'")

Touchin', been sitting on my hand
Keep touchin', you'll get a boo-boo, man
Damage, more or less in time
Just keep touchin' on.

Nazurai's casting the great spectral hand on the Liz' King
Point here, a point there it's all adding up to a faint ding
Your typical spell should do more than a typical bee sting
Drop the spell see what the bone fiddle brings.

Kralig, off in the corner there
Asdac, He's hanging in the air
Deacon, needs to say a prayer
But they won't do a thing.

Most of the spells that you cast at the beasts cause some true harm
Most of the time they're sittin' and cryin' in pain.
One of these days This spectral hand will get goin'
One of these days the lizard king's gonna be slain.

Touchin', you'll get a boo-boo, man
Maybe we need a new battle plan
Sometimes this spell ain't worth a damn
If you don't ride it out,

Sometimes the spectral hand is the key
Other times it can't hurt a flea
But now it occurs to me
It's the wrong pain spell for him

What in the world ever became of our great mage?
Without his magic, this battle just isn't the same
He's floating face down, there in the pool we splashed in
Bobbing away, at least he can't get set aflame

Touchin', give it one more chance
Keep touchin', I'm in a magic trance
Asdac, now we need your sexy dance
As I keep touchin' on.

Just like a purple-nurple or indian rug burn
Got a feeling that this lizard king's about to learn
The magic of necromancy is not to be spurned
If he were undead, then maybe he could be turned

Touchin', where the hell's the hin
Oh shit, did he get killed again
Let's just notify his next of kin
Let's all just let him be

You're sick of hangin' around and you'd like kill him
Get tired of fighting and you want to put him down
I guess they can't restore your soul for tryin',
Calm down, take a breath, and try another round.

Sometimes the spectral hand is the key
Other times it can't hurt a flea
But now it occurs to me
It's the wrong pain spell for him

Touchin', 'bout to take it's toll
Whoa whoa baby, that's a 20 I rolled,
That's right, I'm in complete control
And get back touchin' on.