Overdue for some filk action

[Nazurahei]

NECROMANCER (Sung to the tune of "Private Dancer" by Tina Turner)

Well, the dead litter these places
And the dead are all the same
I can summon and raise them
And I can give them pet names
You know I’m not quite human
I run on negative energy
I’ll raise you up as a zombie
After I say your elegy

[Chorus]
I’m your necromancer
Of dread sorcery
I’ll raise whoever I want to
I’m your necromancer
Of dread sorcery
Any dead body will do

I want to live in a graveyard
I want to have a laboratory
Have a specter and some zombies
Maybe even a ghoul or three
Well, the dead litter these places
And the dead are all the same
I can summon and raise them
And I can give them pet names

[Chorus Twice]

Skeletons or corpses
Humans or orcs will do nicely, thank you
Let me animate this dead henchman
Tell me, d’you want to hear my bone fiddle again?

[Chorus Twice]

[Gabriel Cash]

Lady Stiff (to "Lady Sniff" by BHS)

Lady Stiff, with undead legions
Lady love dem bones
When them undead see you Lady
They just stand in awe
Live or dead there ain't no leeway
Makin' zombies is the plan
Lady when I smell your babies
My nostrils they be Damned
And they bones they start to show
Take me back to Waterdeep, can't take the smell
Lady Stiff with undead wormbags, makes my nose corrode
I don't wanna smell them wormbags, and all that crusty gore
Lady with them greasy ghoulies makes me run in fear
When they see your zombie army they'll just know to flee
Lemme go Lady I don't want to see
Keep'em from the exploding jackass, or bits will be every where.
(retching sounds)
Lady with her fugly minions, dey uglier than me
Lady when I see yo babies, got to drink my gin
Look like someone left that tomb door ajar
Now I just see all dem zombies get up off the floor
And you know the priest of Torm can't turn 'em oh oh oh oh noooo
Azdack what happened to that zombies colon!!??

[Smiling Jack]

I think you just won something.   

[Gabriel Cash]

I think you just won something.   

Please, no corn.

[Brand Nar Gath]

yeah he should have won the right to drive Rene home last night.... 200 life master of all he surveys....

[Nazurahei]

I think you just won something.   

Please, no corn.

My offer was a corn in a cup (large size).

But I'm willing to offer something of comparable value. A bean and cheese taco perhaps, or a bag of dried apricots.

[Genlok]

I think you just won something.   

Please, no corn.

My offer was a corn in a cup (large size).

But I'm willing to offer something of comparable value. A bean and cheese taco perhaps, or a bag of dried apricots.

You bring the bean and cheese and I'll throw in the winning side order, endless bag of prunes.

[Brand Nar Gath]

I think you just won something.   

Please, no corn.

My offer was a corn in a cup (large size).
But I'm willing to offer something of comparable value. A bean and cheese taco perhaps, or a bag of dried apricots.

You bring the bean and cheese and I'll throw in the winning side order, endless bag of prunes.

don't make promises you can't keep...

[Gabriel Cash]

yeah he should have won the right to drive Rene home last night.... 200 life master of all he surveys....

That's not a right it's a privilege, how could I deny you that.

[Gabriel Cash]

I think you just won something.   

Please, no corn.

My offer was a corn in a cup (large size).

But I'm willing to offer something of comparable value. A bean and cheese taco perhaps, or a bag of dried apricots.

I've never said no to a taco.

[Brand Nar Gath]

I've never said no to a taco.
[/quote]
thats what she said.