A new round of post-apocalyptic filks

[Johnny The Cook]

Oprah in the Dark (A tribute to the late lamented Ronnie James Dio's "Rainbow in the Dark")

When there's Oprah – you’ll find Johnny around
Cause she’s fat and you know he likes that
He’s a doomsday whore hound
She cries for Johnny – feeling lonely in the night
He is the cook – his hand's a hook
Now loneliness is her plight

There's no sign of ol’ Johnny coming
She’s been left on her own
Moping Oprah in the Dark

Oh now Johnny – where ever did you go
Out in the waste – to be chased – with great haste
He’s out wandering in the snow
He’s on a mission – tracking Kimberly Scott
Past the mud, spilling blood
Helping Hoa score some pot

There's no sign of ol' Johnny coming
There’s no one here to be
Groping Oprah in the Dark

When there's Oprah – you’ll find Johnny around
Cause she’s fat and you know he likes that
He’s a doomsday whore hound
Feel her sorrow – when he’s chasing that big brain
From Bobby Flay she'll keep away
For the Cook she will abstain

There's no sign of ol' Johnny coming
There’s no sign of the Cook
There’s no one left who can
Grope poor Oprah in the Dark

[Oprah]

Great filks! Keep it coming!

[Brand Nar Gath]

Oprah, you are a shameless hussy.